Response to Outdoor/Sensory Poem -- David Z. He

Poem digested from Christopher Warrent's Blog
Original Poem:
In the Dead of Winter...-By Christopher Warren

As I lay in bed that cold winter’s night;
I look out my window and see the snow;
I dream of the sun’s majestic bright light;
But who weaved this storm,
Not I, I can’t sew;

As I sit there alone, out comes my book;
I dream, summer’s past and the busy air;
I defy my great grief to take a look;
Now the skyline covered, layer upon layer;

I began to sum, I would go outside;
As I opened the door I saw but white;
I was shocked the Weatherman, he had lied;
I stood there watching, never such a sight.
I walked to the lake and to my surprise;

The banks were warmed by a blanket of snow;
It was unfrozen, my mother, all lies;
As I stood there in thought I heard, wind blow;
I walked about, heard the crunch of snow;

And saw the sorry state of the mighty trees;
Suddenly the sight of geese, fly south, GO!
I ne’er realized how I miss the bees;
Few tracks pollute the crispy, new white pack;

White caps of ice float, an uncharted course;
The heavy breeze picks up the natural slack.
Devastating ice, at the mercy of an unchanging source;
As I lay there alone I fell to ground;
The calming breeze made quiet the great noise;
And pondered the way my thoughts were unbound;
T’was as if I had forgotten all sense of poise;

What more can I say of that wonderful bitter;
Oh day of days in the dead of winter;

Commentary:
I think this poem is very detailed-depicted and emotional. First from the title, In the Dead of Winter we could feel the coldness simply from the word “Dead”. Also the writer’s emotion changed from the baffled about whether he should go out or not to delightful when he saw the sight from the river bank. “White caps of ice float, an uncharted course;” this sentences depicted the floating ice with no clear direction, also suggesting that the writer’s current status of mind. Also, there is still some humorous lines existing, for instance, “Suddenly the sight of geese, fly south, GO!”, we could feel that the writer is delightful to be outside despite the coldness. The writer combined the five senses fairly well and depicted the white, frozen and silent river bank, in the end, the writer seems calm and he had forgotten all of his sorrow and the earthborn affair. What more can I say of that wonderful bitter. Oh day of days in the dead of winter.
However, I think that the poem should be more concentrate on the theme: which is the five senses.